Archive for the 'misc.' Category

Laocoön and His Sons on Etsy

Here are two things you might not know about me: first, that I’ve been a bit of a classics/Latin nerd (I’ve been in 8 years of Latin classes!). The second is that I love the Aeneid. There, I said it. So when I happen upon a t-shirt depicting a scene from the Aeneid, I just can’t help myself.

Laocoon and His Sons - James Anthony Apparel
Laocoön and His Sons from James Anthony Apparel

If you’re unfamiliar, this detailed handprinted t-shirt design features, well… Laocoön and his sons. They’re getting devoured by two snakes while Laocoön tries to fend them off! Pretty gruesome, isn’t it? The print is actually of a sculpture that has a pretty interesting history of its own. If you like the design, you should check out James Anthony Apparel’s Etsy page for more styles and colors!

I’ll leave you with my own translation of the Laocoön passage, in which I try to emulate the meter of elegiac couplets and the onomatopoeia and ’surprise endings’ of the original Latin (what did I tell you about me being a nerd?):

Laocoön, selected as priest to Neptune by fortune,
was sacrificing, huge on dour altars, a bull.
Behold, however, twins from Tenedos through the sea tranquil,
(Recalling, I shudder) snakes winding with enormous coils;
they lean over the sea and stretch equal to shore,
whose stomachs tower between the waves and whose crests
bloody surmount the waves and the rest of their tails across the sea
behind them traverse; huge backs they wind with their folds.
There was the splash of the frothing sea; by now they have reached land.
Their burning eyes they suffused, possessing ichor and fire.
Hissing with sibilant tongues in their mouths they were licking.
Seeing them, we, bloodless, flee. They, with a certain driving,
Laocoön they assail, but first the small frames of his
two sons the serpents, after engirdling each
envelops and, biting the wretched boys, consume their joints.
Behind that, coming with help, Laocoön, brandishing spears
the snakes seize and bind him in their enormous coils; now
twice ringing his waist, twice ‘round his neck, lamellose
backs lying they overtop him with heads and lofty shoulders.
That man at once stretches out hands of his to rend their knots,
his fillets by now drenchèd with gore and black venom.
Forthwith trembling cries up to the heavens he lifts,
same as are bellowed when flees from the altar a wounded
bull, who shakes off from his neck axes uncertainly fixed.
But, to the highest temple the twin serpents, with gliding,
they slip away and seek the walls of savage Athen’.
Under the feet of the goddess and curve of her shield are they shrouded.

Aeneid, II.201-227, my translation

If you want to read my theoretical background for the translation (or my analysis of Virgil’s use of Epicureanism in the Aeneid, which I suggest more highly!), let me know and I can email it to you!

Link: [Laocoön and His Sons from James Anthony Apparel]
Espensiveness: $22

PMOG, Indie T-Shirts, and YOU!

If you want to get straight to the bit about t-shirts, just scroll down to the last paragraph!


If you haven’t heard of PMOG, it’s a ‘Passively Multiplayer Online Game’. How it works is you install a Firefox add-on, and essentially you get ‘experience’ to level up like you would in a traditional RPG, except by browsing the internet and completing ‘missions’ instead of killing baddies. You simultaneously earn Datapoints (i.e. internet gold) that you can use to buy tools in the Shoppe. If you want a good overview of what PMOG is about, take this introductory mission. Besides just browsing and taking missions, there are a variety of tools (i.e. items) that you can use: lightposts let you create missions from your favorite webpages, you can leave mines on sites to damage unarmored browsers (and protect yourself from mines with armor), portals are a bit like StumbleUpon (but you can only access them from whatever page they have been placed on), crates let you leave gifts of tools or Datapoints for others to discover, and St. Nicks render the mines of your enemies useless. You become aligned with the seven different associations depending on what tools and missions you take, which ultimately determines what tools you can purchase.

vigilantespathmakers

If you want to get in on the beta, leave a comment to that effect (make sure to fill out the ‘email’ field), and I’ll send an invite to the first two commentators! After that, it’ll be up to those two people to use their invites on subsequent commentators, because you only get two invites per week.

Because I probably know more about t-shirts than anything else, I created a Guide to Indie T-Shirts mission on PMOG, and if you like me you’ll take it and give it a good rating! If you like this blog, you’ll almost certainly like the t-shirts displayed therein. While you’re at it, you should visit my profile to add me as an ally! I promise to reciprocate.

Link: [PMOG]
Expensiveness: it’s for free!

Subversive Cross Stitch

These aren’t t-shirts, but they are one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen. This Valentine’s day, nothing says either ‘I’m so comfortable with this relationship that I can pretend like I don’t actually like you anymore’ or ‘I never want to see you again and this was the most hilarious way I could of telling that to you’ than snarky heart-shaped doilies hand-embroidered by yourself!

Valentines - Natalie Dee - Subversive Cross Stitch
Gotta keep the pictures safe for work…

Natalie Dee teams up with Subversive Cross Stitch to bring you these hilarious doilies. And they make the creation process easy, because each kit includes everything you need:

  • 5 heart-shaped doilies
  • 1 embroidery needle
  • 5 colors of embroidery floss
  • 5 pattern charts for all 5 designs
  • and instructions!

It couldn’t be any simpler. They even have a helpful section on how to cross stitch (with a guest appearance by Lenore from Suicide Girls). The supply of these Valentine’s Day cross stitch kits is limited, and they won’t be available after February 15th.

Link: [Valentine's cross stitch kit at Subversive Cross Stitch]
Expensiveness: $25

Darker Black Is the New Black

The internet is abuzz with news that scientists have created the new darkest material ever!

Our question is: how can this fabric be put to use on t-shirts? For example, I could totally imagine Imaginary Foundation incorporating a super-dark black hole somewhere on one of their tees, couldn’t you?

UPDATE: A pretty picture, for you visual learners in the crowd:

Black!

Joe’s Recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies

I like chocolate chip cookies! And one time I accidentally made the recipe wrong, because I didn’t read very carefully, but I like this way more than the recipe! So here is my recipe for chocolate chip cookies, which is almost the same as the recipe on the bag of Guittard semisweet chocolate chips (my favorite kind of chocolate chips!).

Continue reading ‘Joe’s Recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies’

Threadless Bingo, Redux

The CliffsNotes™ version of this post: Here is a thing I made!
The long version:

Let me spin you all a tale.

Many moons ago, in an age long shrouded by the impenetrable fog of arcane history1, I trekked to the strange and wondrous land of Southern California with co-bonanzier John in order to partake of an august and monumental rite—The Annual Inter-National Comick-Conventione of San Diego Towne. The annals of this journey (or what remain of them, anyway) can be found here.

For those of you who don’t remember/never read that post, the main thrust is that I spotted a lot of people wearing Threadless tees at the convention. So many, in fact, that upon my return to Bonanzier HQ I was compelled to create a ‘Threadless Bingo’ board. Here are the fruits of that labor:

threadless-bingo.png
Click on the image for the full-sized board.
Elsewhere in that post, I wrote the following:

No matter—it’s not very hard to make your own board, if for some reason you don’t like the one I’ve made here. In fact, someone who has mastered the dark art of internet wizardry (not I) could probably lash together some kind of randomized Bingo-board generator, perhaps out of some flotsam and leftover parachute cord.

With the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, I now recognize at least two errors in that statement:

  1. Apparently I do have what it takes to create such a Bingo-board generator; however, ‘internet wizardry’ is probably too strong a term for the skills required. I might instead go with ‘the ability to code oneself out of a paper sack’. Better than nothing, but certainly not a stringent requirement.
  2. No floatsam or parachute cord required! It mostly just took inordinate amounts of papier-mâché. Go figure.

And so, without further ta-do to-do adieu adoo fuss, here is the link to the world’s first, best, and only Threadless Bingo Board Generator!

So generate a board, print it out, and play with your friends! Hours of fun, guaranteed!2


1 i.e., last July
2 Guarantee actually nonexistant.

1 Human + 150 T-Shirts = 1 Human Flipbook

The making-of portion of this video is in some ways more impressive than the actual ‘flipbook’ video itself! 150 meticulously crafted t-shirts went into making a stop-motion film of what is, in effect, an animation on t-shirts for an advertisement of Erbert & Gerbert’s, a sandwich shop chain that I’ve never heard of because they’re apparently almost exclusively in Wisconsin and Minnesota.

[via HipHipUK]